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How much light am I willing . . . ?

How much light am I willing . . . ?

How much light am I willing 2

Right now, in this afternoon sun
that slants like fall in more northern west,
what can I be, do, have,
institute, choose, or change
to contribute to my target of
living the life I love?
I’ve accustomed myself to short
bursts of feeling alive,
spending the rest of my time
attempting to numb my mind, my
emotions in various ways.
The new choices I’ve begun making
happen both slower and faster
than I’d like.
Still, I see results in how I think,
what I choose, especially choices
to recognize and drop judgments.
Seems like such a little thing,
but have you ever begun to notice
how pervasive judgment is?
I seem to bump into it in almost
all my thoughts. Yet each time
I make a different choice, I’m lighter . . .

Mary Beth Haines
© 2014

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